i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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