It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
