He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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