Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
