I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
