His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
