i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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