If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
