You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
