Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
