I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
