I must be too annoying 4 u.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
