I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize