let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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