i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
