My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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