Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
My underwear smells like fireworks.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
you made out with another girl for some wings
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
