When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Randomize
