I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
