Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
