Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Randomize
