I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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