So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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