currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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