I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
