smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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