Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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