I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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