We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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