you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
