is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
