He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
