Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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