my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
