Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
