I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
