Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
