just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
