to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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