That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
