i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
