i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
