Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
