Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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