My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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