next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
