i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
