Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
