im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
