i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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