no, he came in my armpit
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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