tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
