I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
