last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
