Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
