): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
