Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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