Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
