How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
