so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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