do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize