I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
