That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
