dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize