did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize