Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
worst night to have a conscience
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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