It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
cat food counts as protein by the way
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
