Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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