I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize